few tips for getting started on the right foot

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Are you in a hard spot in your marriage right now? Every relationship has its problems & its rough patches, but that doesn't mean that you need to give up when the going gets hard. For lots of couples, they can actually work through their problems to generate a stronger relationship. Sometimes the hard times are actually learning lessons in disguise. Here are a few tips for getting started on the right foot.

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Listen

Understand

There is nothing more damaging to a relationship than a partner that doesn't take the time to listen. In fact, that fact alone might be the thing that has led to the feelings of dissatisfaction with a marriage. In order to be a nice partner (on either finish), you need to be able to remain calm & talk through problems until both partners are satisfied. Be calm when they are speaking & try to listen to what they are saying.

But listening only goes so far when you are trying to work out problems in you relationship. If you do not understand where they are coming from, you might be generating more problems. When they are expressing themselves, you need to ask questions when appropriate in order to clarify what they are saying to you. Even if it seems uncomfortable at first, it is important that you make sure that you understand where they are at & how you might be able to help.

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A positive attitude

Why start off a rough patch by thinking that it will never get any better no matter what you do? When you are trying to work through problems & issues, you will need to make sure that you are going in to it with a positive attitude. You don't need to be sugary sweet, but you ought to start to look at your troubles as learning lessons than the doom of the relationship. Try to think about happier times when you start to become negative in order to turn your thinking around.

Be present

When a partner is not fully in the moment of trying to fix a relationship, the work becomes a one-sided affair. You need to be able to fully be there for your partner when you need to work through hard times. This might mean that you need to take a few days off work or devote sure times to discussing ways to fix your relationship. These times should be uninterrupted by work obligations or time commitments so that neither person feels rushed or distracted.

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Stay quiet

While you might be upset about the way that things have turned out, you need to recall that being quiet is the best way to see things more clearly. Try lowering your voice when you talk - it automatically lowers your blood pressure & your anger. Try to take a few deep breaths before you say anything - this will help you to be clear & quiet as you speak. Lots of people perceive becoming flustered or upset as being angry, & that can lead to a poor environment for working through issues.

Make designs

Three of the best ways to help save your marriage is to start generating long term designs with your partner. While this might not seem like the best idea at the time, it will generate the idea that you are both going to make it through the rough patch that you have stumbled on - somehow. Try to make designs for vacations or other far in the future appointments. This will generate a tiny less pressure because the future is not so vague & unable to be seen in the dark that you are experiencing at the time.

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Take time away

While you don't must become legally separated to do this, taking time away from each other is three of the best ways to stop a marriage from becoming a divorced marriage. When you take time away from each other, you permit yourself to have a new point of view on the events that are happening. & this can let you see new solutions as well as new ideas for how to handle the problems that you may be having. Even if it is a night or a few hours, taking time to step back from an issue can help it become not as hard to resolve.